Becoming Us is a self-paced, online curriculum tailored for your Enneagram Type combination. It’s designed to help you and your partner align your marriage with the hope and truth of the Gospel, so you can have the thriving relationship you long for, no matter how long you’ve been married.
We created a personalized curriculum for all 45 Type combinations. That’s because the dynamics between a Type 1 and Type 3 can look very different than those of a Type 6 and Type 8, or a Type 2 and Type 4. Each Type has specific Core Motivations driving the way they relate in marriage, so there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to relationship growth.
You’ll discover how your unique personality Types and the Core Motivations drive your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Uncovering this hardwiring will open your eyes to the “why” behind your spouse’s behaviors.
Uncover each of your communication styles and tendencies when you’re healthy and when you’re stressed or struggling. These insights will help you improve the way you interact and respond to your partner, so you each feel seen, heard, and understood.
Learn practical tips for exercising more balance, self-control, and grace in your daily interactions. Turn even long-standing hot-button arguments into balanced and productive conversations.
A fresh understanding of what makes your spouse tick and why can be a game-changer when it comes to reconciling marital issues. From the tiniest of everyday aggravations to the deepest relationship wounds, learn new and practical ways to approach conflict.
You’ll overcome the negative patterns and misunderstanding landmines that have hindered your relationship for years.
Strengthen and restore your relationship as you deepen mutual respect and connection. Both your hearts will come alive as you learn to affirm, support, and point one another back to Christ.
We created a marriage course with all the Enneagram and Gospel insights we wish we had in our early years. Here’s our story.
We got married at the ripe age of 20. Full of optimism and dreams for the future, we were totally sure we’d easily have a happy and fulfilling marriage. It makes us laugh and cringe to think about all that we had to learn over the next 24 years. It didn’t take long for problems to arise in our relationship. We just couldn’t fathom how we could be dealing with so much turbulence when our dating life was so rich and fun.
There’s always friction when you put two personalities with different perspectives, backgrounds, and interests together, and we quickly felt disappointed and resentful. We didn’t understand ourselves, one another, and the fullness we already had in Christ, so we spent the next few years hitting the same relational walls over and over again. By our fourth year of marriage, we were completely frustrated, ashamed, and desperate.
The Gospel and the Enneagram changed everything.
We learned to recognize the ways we would each think, speak, and act when we were out of alignment with the Gospel. We discovered that much of the time, the root of our marriage issues stemmed from not truly understanding one another’s hearts, and insisting that our point of view be seen as right. We believe that if we’d had the tool of the Enneagram from a Gospel perspective earlier, it would have helped us to avoid so much pain and misunderstanding.
Imagine how your relationship would change if you really trusted the amazing news of the Gospel, believing that Christ is restoring you and your significant other. God has an amazing plan for your relationship, and He put you with your spouse - along with all your thought patterns and quirks - to accomplish His purposes. Challenges are inevitable, but when you learn to navigate them in a healthy way, you’ll experience transformational grace and abundant life.
No matter your season or personality combination, our heart is to show you how to grow into the individuals and couple you were created to be. And we do that while intentionally focusing on the intricacies of your Type combo.
You’ll get the value you’d receive from months of couples therapy in 8 digestible video coaching sessions. You can complete them at your own pace from the comfort of
your own home.
Our Story + The Enneagram
Your Enneagram Types
Your Relationship Dance
Your Family of Origin
Your Communication Styles
Your Conflict Styles
Coaching Session 1: Our Story & The Enneagram
We share our "Becoming Us" journey from broken to beautifully connected using the truth of the Gospel and the tool of the Enneagram. We simplify the Enneagram so you can use it to truly understand yourself, one another, and how it can work for you in your daily life and relationship. You’ll learn how to get back in alignment with the truth of the Gospel when you start to fall back into familiar, unhealthy patterns.
Coaching Session 2: Your Enneagram Types
It’s time to dive deep into each partner’s intricate personality. You'll uncover each Type's Core Motivations, so you can really understand why you both think, feel, and interact in particular ways. Then, you'll uncover when and how you’ve looked in the wrong places to get your core needs met, and where to look instead.
Coaching Session 3: The Dance
Changing your specific relationship dynamics, aka your "Dance" is the key to transforming your marriage. You'll uncover the unhealthy dances specific to your two Types, and how to transform them into the thriving dynamics your hearts crave. This is our most-referenced session!
Coaching Session 4: The Gospel
We’ll show you how to bring Gospel messages to the center of your relationship, so feelings of peace and intimacy can blossom in your marriage. This allows your connection with your spouse to grow and your passion to reignite.
Coaching Session 5: Family of Origin
You and your spouse have different expectations of what marriage should look like based on your backgrounds and childhood messages. In this session, you'll uncover how you interpreted those past messages through the lens of your Enneagram Type and how they are impacting your relationship today. You'll learn a simple acronym to combat unhealthy patterns and bring you back to your true identity in Christ.
Coaching Session 6: Communication Styles
You'll learn specific communications that work for your Enneagram Types, so you each feel heard, valued, and more deeply connected. As you learn how to better communicate with one another, you'll align your hearts and feel more understanding and love than ever before in your marriage.
Coaching Session 7: Conflict Styles
Learn how each of your Enneagram Types approach conflict so you can learn to fight well, with no more silent treatments, blow ups, and wounding words you can’t take back. We’ll equip you with Type-specific strategies for approaching your spouse when disagreements surface, and how to resolve issues in a constructive way.
Coaching Session 8: Becoming Us
Discover the secrets to regularly connecting, both emotionally and spiritually, with your spouse as you live out the big dreams you have for your marriage, family, and circle of influence. You'll discover how to love, affirm and support each other in ways that will make each of your hearts come alive. In this session, you’ll take all the Enneagram and Gospel knowledge you’ve acquired throughout the course to create a thriving relationship that inspires you and others and fulfills God's purpose for your marriage.
Your course includes a 64-page printable guide. It's
Use this simple 4-step formula to transform your communication dance. When you and your partner feel truly understood, seen, and heard, you’ll come alive and transform into the best versions of yourselves.
With this bonus, you’ll uncover exactly how to repair and recover after a conflict with your spouse. You’ll learn what forgiveness really is and isn’t, and a 5-step blueprint for moving forward so you and your spouse can fully recover and restore peace.
Dive deeper into the Enneagram with our Discovering You course (regularly $49). This curriculum will help you confirm your Type and use that knowledge to uncover how to live your best life and best marriage.
How does your Enneagram Type affect your parenting? You’ll gain valuable insights on the positive things you bring to your children along with some “room for growth” areas to be mindful of when parenting.
You’ll also get a series of questions to help you narrow in on your child’s possible Enneagram Type and learn to parent with more patience and compassion.
You'll uncover strategies for transforming your marriage including how to find time to complete the coaching sessions together, ways to apply the lessons long-term, and how to stay accountable to each other with the changes you’ve made. If you think you’re too busy, this will guide
We’re excited about the impact this course can have on your marriage, and we want you to feel great about your choice. That's why you're protected by our 30-day money-back guarantee.
If for any reason at all you're not completely satisfied, get in touch with our team and we will give you a complete refund. It's that simple.
Each video session is between 5 and 25 minutes. They are designed to prompt “dates” with your spouse that are about an hour long. Detailed suggestions to facilitate these conversations are included in the Swift Success Strategy bonus.
While we would love for you to watch the video sessions together, we understand that's not always possible. Even if you watch the video sessions alone, it can make a big impact on your marriage. If your spouse isn't ready to take the course with you, don't let that stop you from taking positive action toward the relationship growth you desire!
You can encourage your partner to take our free test to find out their Type by clicking here. It will only take them 5-10 minutes to complete.
Also, if during the videos you discover your spouse is a different Type, simply email our support and let them know your spouse’s correct Type and we’ll do a one-time exchange to get you the right course!
The video sessions are delivered online so you can access them anytime.
We also have downloadable resources to help you move through and understand the content, as well as transcripts for every session so that you can watch or read!
In just a few short sessions, you will gain a deeper understanding of yourselves and one another. You’ll then discover a direct path to healthy and productive communication and conflict resolution in your marriage. You’ll be equipped with knowledge and strategies for better supporting, caring, and pointing one another back to the truth of the Gospel and your true identities in Christ.
Given the new tools and techniques you learn, you'll notice a change in yourselves and your relationship dynamics.
You'll react and respond to one another with more grace and compassion.
Soon, those conversations that used to turn into fights are calm and respectful discussions.
You'll feel heard and understood instead of hurt and confused.
And That's How Your Marriage is Transformed!